Ready for Life

It's almost here, the day I can officially start my new life. In a way I've created a new life for Kyleah and myself, I've been able to start fresh again. Kyleah is in daycare and smarter than ever, I've got a new job that I love, I'm in a relationship that couldn't be more perfect, and life is just great. You, yourself create the path for your own life. You decide how happy you are. And all those people that try to bring you down, you shut them out.
I've learned a lot with this relationship. So many things are different than in any other relationship I've had..even including the first time we were together. I know I've done a lot of growing up and with everything I've been through and been put through, I've had to. There's complete trust now, not a doubt in my mind. There's compromise, two separate opinions and if they differ, it still works. I can completely be myself, no holding back, and he still loves me for that. I couldn't ask for a better person to be by my side than my best friend.
I'd been mad at myself recently and I seem to get the same reaction each time I talk about it. I can honestly say out of all the feelings I've had recently, to be mad at yourself is by far the worst. It sounds silly, but who else can you blame for wasting five years of your life with a person that was clearly not fit for you? Don't get me wrong, I love him to death, just in a different kind of way. I'll always be there for him and I expect the same from him, thus far he has been there more than I'd expected.
I recently had a talk with my grandma and I am a true believer that God sends people into your life when you need them the most. I'd been so down for about five days I didn't know what to do with myself. I felt like I couldn't fully talk to anyone, because no one could understand my feelings and emotions right at that moment. The next day, I dragged myself from bed and went to work expecting it to be a dreadful 9 hours, why did I get out of bed, I should've just stayed there all day. I got to work feeling like I could bawl at any given time. Just so happens a coworker sat down and started talking with me, she had no idea how I'd been feeling. We talked for a good hour and she'd experienced some of the things that had been bothering me, not knowing at all that i had been feeling any of it. At that point I'd finally opened up and talked about everything and right after, I felt like me again. The last five days was in the past and I'd been pulled from my depression. I am amazed at how God works and I know for sure he sent her to me that morning to help me.
Throughout this whole process there has only been a few people who have supported me one hundred percent. They may not have agreed with every move I have made, but they let me grieve in the way I needed to and gave me supportive advice along the way. These people I am so thankful for, and that is the true definition of a friend. They will never know just how appreciated they are and how the simplest words went such a long way at helping me through this rough time. I've finally got what I deserve in life and I am ready to fully enjoy it!