Today, every year in remembrance we will now plant a flower. Today, is etched into our lives forever. Today, we have grown so much closer as a family. Today, I grieve.
Today
Today, one of my biggest fears came true. Today, I feel like a part of me was taken away. Today, my heart was broken like its never been broke before. Today, I feel like I failed at the job that I must never fail at. Today, I witnessed my 4 year old daughters heart break. Today, I had to learn that everything happens for a reason, even if it doesn't make since at all. Today, I learned I loved something I only had for twelve weeks, more than I love myself. Today, Kyleah named our baby Flower. Today, I had to explain to my daughter that God is holding a new baby.
Today, every year in remembrance we will now plant a flower. Today, is etched into our lives forever. Today, we have grown so much closer as a family. Today, I grieve.
Today, every year in remembrance we will now plant a flower. Today, is etched into our lives forever. Today, we have grown so much closer as a family. Today, I grieve.
365 Days
It's been one year today. That feelings were finally expressed after holding back for five years, that my best friend became so much more than just a friend and that I finally was able to be happy. It's been exactly one year that I started dating my best friend.
This last year has been full of many new experiences, some good and some not so pleasant. I did a lot of growing, as in learning more about myself and how to be a bigger, better person, whether I liked it or not. I've really struggled with a lot and I thank my best friend, my partner, for being there and being so understanding. I don't know where or who I would be today without him.
Thank you for loving me as much as you do. And I thank you for loving my daughter as if she were your own. I often ask how I am so lucky to have you and what I ever did to deserve you. You are such an amazing person and deserve nothing but the best. I will be that for you. I will be the one to make you smile, I'll be the one to do whatever it takes to make you laugh, even on your worst day. Because that's what you do for me. You make me the happiest woman alive. I am truly blessed. You are my other half. With you and Kyleah both by my side, my life feels complete. Thank you for letting me see that this happiness does exist and IS possible.
I love you, Jimmy. Happy one year anniversary, babu!
This last year has been full of many new experiences, some good and some not so pleasant. I did a lot of growing, as in learning more about myself and how to be a bigger, better person, whether I liked it or not. I've really struggled with a lot and I thank my best friend, my partner, for being there and being so understanding. I don't know where or who I would be today without him.
Thank you for loving me as much as you do. And I thank you for loving my daughter as if she were your own. I often ask how I am so lucky to have you and what I ever did to deserve you. You are such an amazing person and deserve nothing but the best. I will be that for you. I will be the one to make you smile, I'll be the one to do whatever it takes to make you laugh, even on your worst day. Because that's what you do for me. You make me the happiest woman alive. I am truly blessed. You are my other half. With you and Kyleah both by my side, my life feels complete. Thank you for letting me see that this happiness does exist and IS possible.
I love you, Jimmy. Happy one year anniversary, babu!
Ready for Life
It's almost here, the day I can officially start my new life. In a way I've created a new life for Kyleah and myself, I've been able to start fresh again. Kyleah is in daycare and smarter than ever, I've got a new job that I love, I'm in a relationship that couldn't be more perfect, and life is just great. You, yourself create the path for your own life. You decide how happy you are. And all those people that try to bring you down, you shut them out.
I've learned a lot with this relationship. So many things are different than in any other relationship I've had..even including the first time we were together. I know I've done a lot of growing up and with everything I've been through and been put through, I've had to. There's complete trust now, not a doubt in my mind. There's compromise, two separate opinions and if they differ, it still works. I can completely be myself, no holding back, and he still loves me for that. I couldn't ask for a better person to be by my side than my best friend.
I'd been mad at myself recently and I seem to get the same reaction each time I talk about it. I can honestly say out of all the feelings I've had recently, to be mad at yourself is by far the worst. It sounds silly, but who else can you blame for wasting five years of your life with a person that was clearly not fit for you? Don't get me wrong, I love him to death, just in a different kind of way. I'll always be there for him and I expect the same from him, thus far he has been there more than I'd expected.
I recently had a talk with my grandma and I am a true believer that God sends people into your life when you need them the most. I'd been so down for about five days I didn't know what to do with myself. I felt like I couldn't fully talk to anyone, because no one could understand my feelings and emotions right at that moment. The next day, I dragged myself from bed and went to work expecting it to be a dreadful 9 hours, why did I get out of bed, I should've just stayed there all day. I got to work feeling like I could bawl at any given time. Just so happens a coworker sat down and started talking with me, she had no idea how I'd been feeling. We talked for a good hour and she'd experienced some of the things that had been bothering me, not knowing at all that i had been feeling any of it. At that point I'd finally opened up and talked about everything and right after, I felt like me again. The last five days was in the past and I'd been pulled from my depression. I am amazed at how God works and I know for sure he sent her to me that morning to help me.
Throughout this whole process there has only been a few people who have supported me one hundred percent. They may not have agreed with every move I have made, but they let me grieve in the way I needed to and gave me supportive advice along the way. These people I am so thankful for, and that is the true definition of a friend. They will never know just how appreciated they are and how the simplest words went such a long way at helping me through this rough time. I've finally got what I deserve in life and I am ready to fully enjoy it!
I've learned a lot with this relationship. So many things are different than in any other relationship I've had..even including the first time we were together. I know I've done a lot of growing up and with everything I've been through and been put through, I've had to. There's complete trust now, not a doubt in my mind. There's compromise, two separate opinions and if they differ, it still works. I can completely be myself, no holding back, and he still loves me for that. I couldn't ask for a better person to be by my side than my best friend.
I'd been mad at myself recently and I seem to get the same reaction each time I talk about it. I can honestly say out of all the feelings I've had recently, to be mad at yourself is by far the worst. It sounds silly, but who else can you blame for wasting five years of your life with a person that was clearly not fit for you? Don't get me wrong, I love him to death, just in a different kind of way. I'll always be there for him and I expect the same from him, thus far he has been there more than I'd expected.
I recently had a talk with my grandma and I am a true believer that God sends people into your life when you need them the most. I'd been so down for about five days I didn't know what to do with myself. I felt like I couldn't fully talk to anyone, because no one could understand my feelings and emotions right at that moment. The next day, I dragged myself from bed and went to work expecting it to be a dreadful 9 hours, why did I get out of bed, I should've just stayed there all day. I got to work feeling like I could bawl at any given time. Just so happens a coworker sat down and started talking with me, she had no idea how I'd been feeling. We talked for a good hour and she'd experienced some of the things that had been bothering me, not knowing at all that i had been feeling any of it. At that point I'd finally opened up and talked about everything and right after, I felt like me again. The last five days was in the past and I'd been pulled from my depression. I am amazed at how God works and I know for sure he sent her to me that morning to help me.
Throughout this whole process there has only been a few people who have supported me one hundred percent. They may not have agreed with every move I have made, but they let me grieve in the way I needed to and gave me supportive advice along the way. These people I am so thankful for, and that is the true definition of a friend. They will never know just how appreciated they are and how the simplest words went such a long way at helping me through this rough time. I've finally got what I deserve in life and I am ready to fully enjoy it!
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